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Tolkien Oddness in the Real News

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Tolkien Oddness in the Real News

Postby Octavius » Wed May 21, 2014 7:27 pm

High Elf, High on Acid, Attacks Woman's BMW With a Sword
http://gawker.com/high-elf-high-on-acid ... ayhathaway

Portland, Ore. police responded to a 911 call at around 7 a.m. Tuesday morning from a woman who believed her car was under attack by a pirate. But instead of a routine pirate attack—oh, Portland—they discovered an armored man who claimed he was a High Elf.

He was at least half right. Although the man, dressed in chain mail and helmet, and equipped with sword, staff, and shield, wasn't actually an elf, he was definitely high.

Konrad Bass, 30, of Glendale, Ore., told officers he had taken LSD, and also identified himself as a "high-elf engaged in battle with the evil Morgoth." He was cited for criminal mischief and taken to a hospital.

Morgoth, the original dark lord and master of Sauron in J.R.R. Tolkien's Lord of the Rings mythology, has at his command various Balrogs, rivers of fire, and, apparently, BMWs (the official car of the Dark Enemy and sponsor of the last battle).

The car survived the encounter, although police say it was left with several puncture marks.

Update: In an interview with Vocativ, Bass explained, "I wasn't in my right mind. I was still rocking my new pair of elf ears."

He mistook the car for a shapeshifting demon.

"I hopped on her hood and tried to pierce her tires with my master sword. I was trying to prove a point. Don't mess with a dark elf," he said.

Bass is also involved in Live Action Roleplaying (shocking!) and writes fantasy novels under the name Konrad McKane. Last time he dropped acid, he turned into a dragon.


Facebook conveniently pointed me to the full interview text, which provides the Update above.
http://www.vocativ.com/underworld/crime ... usted-car/
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Re: Tolkien Oddness in the Real News

Postby Pallando » Wed May 21, 2014 8:43 pm

Needs to spam 'scan' a bit more before locking targets. What a noob.
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Re: Tolkien Oddness in the Real News

Postby Nimrod » Fri May 23, 2014 9:13 pm

OMG! Konrad Bass! That's Tusken!
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Re: Tolkien Oddness in the Real News

Postby Olthadir » Fri May 23, 2014 9:19 pm

What got me when I first read the article was the fact he called himself a high-elf fighting Morgoth, then said not to mess with a dark-elf.

I don't think there were many moriquendi counted among the vanyar were there?
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Re: Tolkien Oddness in the Real News

Postby Taurgalas » Sat May 24, 2014 8:01 am

The one word answer to this inquiry and his confusion: DRUGS. ;)
[Petition:***] Why is there a pretty pink pony with doe eyes and a party-balloon cutie mark in the group?

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Re: Tolkien Oddness in the Real News

Postby Hawkwind » Sat May 24, 2014 8:10 am

To enhance their live-action role-playing game, one of the participants broke out a stash of mind-altering substances.


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Re: Tolkien Oddness in the Real News

Postby Pallando » Sat May 24, 2014 7:51 pm

Nimrod wrote:OMG! Konrad Bass! That's Tusken!


Are you effin serious?
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Re: Tolkien Oddness in the Real News

Postby Holmes » Sat May 24, 2014 8:32 pm

Nimrod wrote:OMG! Konrad Bass! That's Tusken!


I believe it.
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Re: Tolkien Oddness in the Real News

Postby EltanimRas » Tue May 27, 2014 7:48 am

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Re: Tolkien Oddness in the Real News

Postby Tepes » Tue May 27, 2014 11:16 pm

Wow. :shock:
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Re: Tolkien Oddness in the Real News

Postby Hawkwind » Sat May 31, 2014 6:13 pm

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cirith_Ungol_(band)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shagrat_(band)
This one was actually fronted by Steve Peregrin Took

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steve_Peregrin_Took

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Re: Tolkien Oddness in the Real News

Postby Octavius » Mon Jun 02, 2014 11:27 am



"Took's death certificate records the cause of death as being due to asphyxiation after inhaling a cocktail cherry."
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Re: Tolkien Oddness in the Real News

Postby Hawkwind » Mon Jun 02, 2014 12:11 pm

Octavius wrote:


"Took's death certificate records the cause of death as being due to asphyxiation after inhaling a cocktail cherry."


This is Spinal Tap, also a butt load of morphine.
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